


Let the honey soak through

by Ingi



Series: Tales of the Rule of Three [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste's Birthday, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alya Césaire and Nino Lahiffe Ship It, Animagus Adrien Agreste, Animagus Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Awkward Nino Lahiffe, Bee Adrien Agreste, Cat Plagg, Chat Noir Being Chat Noir, Confident Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Cursed Adrien Agreste, Everyone Loves Ladybug, Exasperated Marinette Dupain-Cheng, F/M, Fluff, Frustrated Adrien Agreste, Gryffindor Adrien Agreste, Gryffindor Nino Lahiffe, Harry Potter References, Humor, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Acts Like a Bug, Miraculous Side Effects, Slytherin Alya Césaire, Slytherin Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Werewolf Alya Césaire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 01:46:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11243772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ingi/pseuds/Ingi
Summary: "Was that like an Unbreakable Vow?" he hisses when they reach the Astronomy corridor. "Did you just make an Unbreakable Vow with achild?"Ladybug's expression is so ridiculously incredulous that Adrien would probably laugh, if he didn't suddenly feel so ashamed."It was a pinky promise," she says, slowly. Adrien has the feeling he's not getting it, and Marinette must notice, too, because she only sighs. "No, kitty, it's not an Unbreakable. Not even close. But I did take pinky promises pretty seriously when I was eleven," she adds, shrugging. "We'll be fine.""We won't be fine," Adrien reminds her, grinding his teeth. "I'm abee."





	Let the honey soak through

**Author's Note:**

> I had to make Adrien's birthday up because apparently it's not stated in the show, despite having an entire episode about it. Huh.  
> And I'm still not sure this shouldn't be labelled crack, but well. Oh, and there's some unavoidable exposition, because trying to turn their miraculous tranformations into animagi ones is kind of really hard. And please ignore the whole "French students going to Hogwarts" inconsistency; feel free to apply your own headcanons (they're not French? Beauxbatons is actually that too-cool-for-you private school most people avoid so 90% of French people go to Hogwarts instead?).  
> At least you'll probably learn something? I did actual research, so all the bug stuff is 100% real.

It's October 21st, there's croissants for breakfast in the Gryffindor table, and they don't have History of Magic until tomorrow.

In short, it has all the markings of a great day, at least until a flock of owls bursts into the Great Hall and a red envelope comes flying his way, sticking into the porridge that Adrien has been angling in Nino's direction.

Adrien stares at the howler, and the howler seems to stare right back. The other students slowly move away from him, and it's not like Adrien can blame them, but he definitely needs to blame _someone_. It's his birthday! He shouldn't receive a howler in his birthday! Isn't that against the law or something?

"Dude, you should open that," Nino helpfully reminds him, from at least seven seats away. He sure moves fast when he wants to.

The envelope does seem to be heating up already, and the last thing Adrien wants on his birthday —well, the second-last thing, right after the howler itself— is burnt croissants, and possibly setting himself on fire, so he picks it up from one corner and rips it open. There, fast and painless, like a healing spell.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADRIKINS!"

The Great Hall falls silent, any student who hadn't noticed the howler now very obviously aware of it. And then Ms. Mendeleiev's glass explodes, showering the teachers table with glass shards and something that could be cranberry juice or could be wine —no student has ever managed to find out—, at the same time the howler bursts into flames and ashes rain all over the croissants. In the Slytherin table, a grinning Chloé stands up, waves, and yells, because apparently there hasn't been enough yelling at seven in the morning yet.

"That was me!" She stares directly at Adrien and grins even harder. "Happy birthday, Adrikins! Make sure to come by the Slytherin dorms to get your present!"

Adrien grimaces and waves back awkwardly until Chloé sits down.

"How sweet," Nino snickers. "Possibly not her best idea, but sweet."

"I'm sure she meant well," Adrien says, grinding his teeth. And it _is_ true, or not entirely a lie at least; Chloé probably did mean to be kind for once and congratulate Adrien on his birthday, it's not really her fault that she doesn't know how to do anything with subtlety. Or any kind of situational awareness, really.

And it gives him an excuse to give himself a birthday present and stare at Marinette, who is currently glaring at Chloé as if she'd love nothing more than to wandlessly set her on fire, but then again, that's kind of part of her daily routine. Beside her, Alya is busy reading the Daily Prophet and making corrections with a pen all over it, which is also part of _her_ daily routine and never stops scandilizing snotty purebloods who tremble at the sight of anything that isn't a proper quill. But as much as Adrien likes Alya, his gaze keeps being dragged to Marinette and just how terribly pretty she looks when she's angry, which... is probably something he should get looked up, because he's pretty sure it's not normal to be attracted to girls who look like they could definitely kill you, at least not while their gorgeous blue eyes are screaming _murder_.

"Somehow I don't think you're thinking about Chloé now," Nino says, and when Adrien regretfully turns to glance at him, he's sitting beside him again and looking intensely amused.

"If you would be so kind as to pass me the treacle tart," Adrien replies, ignoring him, while trying to sound as pompous as possible.

" _Whoa_ , don't get all fancy on me, man," Nino groans, pushing the treacle tart towards him. "Those beauxbadorks totally ruined you."

"Y'know," Adrien huffs, "if anyone from Beauxbatons actually hears you call them that, you're going to get in real trouble."

"I'm sure you'd save me," Nino says, fluttering his eyelashes, which might be the most disturbing thing Adrien has ever seen. "You'd be back to your Fourth year boredom otherwise."

Nino would've never said something like that last year, not even as a joke, but things are different now. Adrien _does_ in fact have friends apart from him, which means he doesn't take that kind of jabs to heart, at least not when they come from Nino. Although, to be fair, Adrien still could use some more friends, but what's a guy to do when he shares surname with a man who has his own chocolate frog card.

"I'd just hang out with Mari and Alya instead," he replies, grinning with delight at being able to say it. "You're not that important," he adds, and despite knowing how much of a lie that is, Nino still clutches his heart and dramatically slides down his seat, groaning about words having the effect of an Unforgivable and annoying everyone in a ten metres radius in the process.

When he spots Alya looking their way, though, Nino shots up in his seat and beams at her, pretending he hadn't been crawling on the floor just a second before.

Adrien shakes his head, barely holding back a smile. Nino sure can be obvious about his crush. But then again —Adrien reconsiders as a tiny shadow sneaks between his legs— he's not much better.

The best part about black cats is that they're very, very good at not being seen. And some black cats, even if every expert in the country swears up and down that they've got absolutely no Kneazle blood in them, are also amenable to carrying secret messages around as long as they're paid handsomely in camembert. Adrien pats Plagg on the head and tries to take the message he's carrying in his mouth, but the cat refuses to give it up until Adrien _Accioes_ a piece of cheese from the table. Typical Plagg.

The note is short and to the point ( _Today. First rounds._ ), but Adrien still finds himself beaming and, more than probably, flushing like it's going out of style.

From the Slytherin table, Marinette winks at him.

 

* * *

 

Right before curfew, Adrien stealthily steps out of the Gryffindor tower.

Or maybe not so stealthily, because the Fat Lady groans and complains about _Gryffindors and their irritating fondness for breaking rules, especially rules that affect her personally and will surely make her lose yet another night of sleep, and for Merlin's sake, it's the fourth student today that sneaks out, she should be guarding the entrance of a class instead, no one would bother sneaking in and out at unseemly hours then-_

Adrien makes sure to apologize, although he does that nearly every night and to the date the Fat Lady has never seemed to heard him while she's on one of her tirades, and ducks into a nearby corridor to transform.

Years of practice allow him to skip the first steps entirely, so he only has to endure the actual transformation, his pupils shifting to slits and his nails to claws, his hearing sharpening until he knows the exact number of rodent pets in the Gryffindor tower and where exactly is each one at the moment (three; two are in the dorms and the other one is in the common room). He hasn't managed to sink to cat size or grow fur yet, though, or even change most of his body structure, so what he gets is a weird leather-like black suit instead. Well, at least he has a _tail_. And cat ears, too. And he's only a step away from full transformation, which is pretty amazing for a Fifth year animagus.

Besides, he has to admit he likes the collar and mask he can transfigure into, even if they're mostly for effect (not the mask, actually, the mask is for blessed anonimity, which was the whole point of the animagus form in the first place). He's almost certain he won't be able to do that when he reaches the last transfiguration step, but then again, he won't need to.

He checks to make sure his ring is still there, even though it always is. It's a pretty good indicator of when his transformation is going to wear off, and right now it's black and has a vivid cat paw printed on it. He doesn't have to worry until the paw starts fading and it turns back into silver, which to the date hasn't ever happened unless Adrien used magic while transfigurated. It's yet another half-advantage half-disadvantage of partial transformation, most often useful than not, _and_ it gets him a cool baton too, because for some reason his wand transforms into it instead of doing whatever wands are supposed to do when their user is in animagus form.

Marinette gets a really cute pouch with a yoyo instead, though, which is _not fair_. Although Adrien admits, grudgingly, that it's probably to compensate for her lack of wings.

He waits a few minutes for whoever is using the nearby corridor to walk away, even though most people would never rat _Chat Noir_ out (pun fully intended), and then he starts walking towards the Astronomy corridor, where he knows Marinette has her first prefect rounds on Tuesdays.

No one is in the corridors, so Chat sighs and looks up the long, long flight of stairs leading to the Astronomy tower.

"No one will ever say Chat Noir is not resourceful," he says out loud, grinning to himself, and uses the baton to fling himself up the stairs. The first time he tried that, he ended up smacking against a wall, but no one has to know that. Especially not Marinette, who would spare about ten seconds to be worried and, after making sure he had sustained no life-threatening injuries, would laugh herself sick.

When he reaches the top of the tower and sticks his baton through the suit's belt, Marinette is already there, sitting on the railing and staring at the sky. Well, not Marinette, exactly. _Ladybug_. Her partial transformation also provides her with a suit, although in her case it's properly red and black like an actual ladybug's and the material is not the same as Chat's suit, which he supposes makes sense, considering she isn't meant to have fur. But again, no wings. Marinette is always complaining about that. He's never heard her complain about the lack of antenna, though.

"Do you really need someone to listen to you so badly that you have to talk to yourself if there's no one else available?" Ladybug asks, without turning, sounding amused.

"My lady?" Chat says, raising his eyebrows, although the effect is entirely lost in Ladybug's back.

"I could hear you muttering from up here," Ladybug replies, finally turning to face him. Adrien suddenly finds himself out of breath.

"Well, you do have very sharp hearing, my lady," he shrugs, grinning. "But not as good as mine, of course."

He approaches the railing and rubs his side against Ladybug's, careful not to make her lose her balance. She smiles and scratches him under the chin, and Chat has to struggle to swallow back down the purr that threatens to come out. Not that Marinette would care, but it _is_ kind of embarrassing.

And then he realizes Ladybug is holding something in her free hand, and he can feel his smile widening.

"Is that a feverfew?"

Ladybug immediately gets that shifty, defensive look that always makes Adrien want to laugh. She moves her hand out of his view, even though she knows the harm's already done, and starts stroking his hair to distract him, as if it's going to work. ...Well, alright, it _does_ work, and too well, at that, but Chat's got an objective he's not planning to lose sight of.

"Are you chewing on flowers again, my lady?" he asks, grinning.

"Why do you keep asking that?" Ladybug replies, scowling. "Why can't I just like flowers?"

"Well," Chat shrugs. "Let's just say that, if you allowed me to woo you, I would only gift you flowers while keeping in mind that they wouldn't precisely end up in a _prrewtty_ vase. Not for long, anyway."

Ladybug glares at him, but she does seem to admit defeat. She holds up the feverfew and takes a bite out of it, chewing threateningly in Chat's direction, as if daring him to say anything else on the topic. Chat is smart enough to know that bad kitties don't get cuddles, so he doesn't push it.

"Laugh all you want," Ladybug mutters darkly, "you should be glad you haven't got the short end of the stick."

This is a discussion they have often, because if Marinette has one flaw it's that she's convinced eating a flower or two occasionally (because she draws the line at insects) is somehow worse than, say, nearly doing a back-flip in public because someone in the room is peeling an orange, or getting instantly high at the smell of a catnip toy (which, considering cats are _very_ common and well-loved pets, happens all too often).

As if she's reading his mind, which, honestly, Chat doesn't put past her, she swipes at his arm and huffs.

"I. Can't see. Color."

"Only in ladybug form!" Chat reminds her. "And my lady, I have to say that you must be truly _purrfect_ if not even the Shatner Pause makes you less _beautifurr_."

He waits, beaming proudly, staring at her. She predictably groans.

"Of all the things, you've been watching Star Trek."

"Father got a TV," Adrien explains, still grinning. "Apparently, some of his business partners are halfbloods and muggleborns, and watching TV is a bonding activity for them."

Marinette looks at him from the corner of her eye.

"Well- if you say so." At Chat's worried face, though, she scratches him between the ears and smiles. "I guess it is, for some people," she amends, and she's the muggleborn, so Chat nods and melts under her touch. "And for the record, I'm also supposed to be dormant during cold seasons, and that doesn't disappear in human form."

Chat narrows his eyes at her and tries to pass it off as desbelief and not pleasure, although it _is_ a bit of both (mostly the latter, though, because Merlin, does Marinette know where to scratch!).

"I can't sleep at night," he says. "Ever. You only ever fall asleep in class during cold seasons, but I'm _always_ sleepy."

"Maybe you're just lazy, have you considered that?" Ladybug replies, raising a brow, and then growls in exasperation before Chat can take offense. "Why won't you just admit that I have it hard too, you infuriating _cat_?"

"Because I _cat_ not lie, my lady!" Chat exclaims, hands flying to his chest.

"Don't," Marinette warns him, unimpressed. "That was terrible and you need to stop."

"You don't think that," Chat insists, grinning from ear to ear. "My puns are incredibly _chatming_."

Ladybug hides her face in her hands, groaning louder.

"Let's get moving before I actually push you off the railing," she says, jumping to the floor. "I'm supposed to be doing the rounds in the dungeons by now."

"Do any Slytherins ever get caught?" Chat asks, amused.

"Oh, _please_ ," Ladybug snorts. "I just have to check if any foolhardy _Gryffindors_ are trying to sneak into our common room."

"You wound me, my lady," Chat says, following her to the corridor. "You know I never try, I _do_."

"Kitty, if you'd ever been in our common room, I'd _know_." Before Chat can ask, she explains, scowling, "I would smell you there. Creepy, but..."

Chat waves the comment away. It _is_ pretty creepy, but it's a creepiness that he's already used to himself, having at least as good of a sense of smell as Marinette.

"When I reach the full transformation, no door or password will stop me!" he assures, and winks at her. "And I'll certainly pay you a visit or two, my lady."

"You'd better not, tomcat," she rolls her eyes, pausing long enough to flick his nose.

Adrien can see a light blush peeking under her mask, though, which always pleases him inmensely. Marinette has been so difficult to ruffle since they discovered the half-transformed animagus they kept meeting in the castle was in fact a fellow student from their year; now, _that_ was a revelation. Marinette was constantly flustered and meek as a mouse when she only knew him as Adrien, which was why he hadn't even considered she could be his beloved Ladybug, but since then she has admitted the reason is she used to find him intimidating. It's funny, because Marinette is a muggleborn of humble background in the Slytherin house, and she's _never_ intimidated by _anyone_ , but Adrien guesses that's what he gets for belonging to a famous pureblood family.

He'd asked her, once, why she'd suddenly stopped being intimidated by him when she learned of his identity. He had expected her to answer she'd just got to know him better, but her actual answer had been _It's hard to be intimidated by someone you've seen wriggling his butt to pounce_. It had been a hard blow to his dignity, but it was worth it if it meant he could count her as a friend in both forms.

"I never asked," he suddenly realizes, stopping in his tracks.

But they're already in the dungeons and there's a _huge_ echo here, so his words end up being a little louder than expected. He looks at Ladybug sheepishly, and she sighs.

"What is it?" she says, softly.

Chat gets closer to her, ostentatiously to be less conspicuous and avoid talking too loudly again, but he really only wants to cuddle up.

"Why did you want to be an animagus?" he whispers, placing a clawed hand on her arm, and watches her shiver. He doubts it's because she's afraid of the claws, but he doesn't dare to hope anything else.

Ladybug bites her lip, which is entirely too adorable and should be banned in at least fifty countries.

"Uhhh," she starts, uncharacteristically unsure. "So, you know about Alya, right?"

"Alya?" Chat asks, blinking, and then gets it. "Ohh, Alya. You mean her _furry_ problem."

The fur is not really the problem, though. Chat knows for a fact that Alya is much more annoyed by how expensive the wolfsbane potion is and how much it sucks having to drink it all the time to avoid tearing people's throats open with her teeth.

"Yes, well-" she hesitates again, torn, and Chat sighs.

"Ladybug, you know why _I_ studied for this," he reminds her, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of his voice. It's hard to do when she doesn't seem to trust him as much as he trusts her, enough to tell her about his father and the other stuff that makes him how he is and he doesn't like mentioning out loud.

"It's not that, Adrien," she says immediately, right into his ear, and Chat knows that it's just to avoid anyone picking up his name, but it still gives him goosebumps. And she sounds serious and _warm_ , which is really comforting, because it shows she means it and she _cares_. "It's just seriously embarrassing." She sighs and buries her face in his neck. Chat tries to remember how that pesky breathing thing works, but he's not really successful.

"Exchange," he blurts out. "I mean- let's do an exchange. If you tell me, you and Alya can come hang out at the Gryffindor common room."

It's not a particularly fair exchange, considering there's no unnofficial prohibition against other houses visiting, unlike what happens with Slytherin, but Adrien feels too exposed in his own skin to offer an embarrassing story in return.

" _Fiiine_ ," Marinette says either way, her lips brushing Adrien's neck. He can only thank his lucky stars that she can't see how red he is. If only she hasn't noticed how fast his pulse is either. "Okay, so do you remember my mom's uncle, Wang Cheng?"

"The- the chef?" Chat says. He _does_ remember him, Marinette's mentioned him more than a few times and he actually got to meet him at King's Cross just this September. It's only that it's a bit hard to think at the moment.

"One of the best in the world," Ladybug reminds him proudly, turning her head so she's no longer speaking into Adrien's neck. He both regrets it and is inmensely grateful. "But yes. Well, he's also a Potions master."

"A _what_?" Chat startles.

"A Potions master," Ladybug repeats, and he can feel her smiling. "He's a wizard. And before I even got my Hogwarts letter, when I was just a kid, he'd read this books to me- uh, the Harry Potter series-"

"Are you kidding?" Adrien says, nearly shoving her off in his excitement. He immediately wraps an arm around her, just in case, and almost shouts in joy when she doesn't seem to mind. "I love those books!"

"Me too," Marinette laughs, quietly. "But anyway, you know how there's this group of wizards during the first war, Harry's father and his friends-"

"The Marauders. You mean the Marauders."

And Adrien doesn't even care if he sounds like a little kid. Those books are _amazing_. His mother used to read them to him, too, telling him he'd someday go to Hogwarts and would have his own adventures. Of course, then she disappeared and his father sent him to Beauxbatons until his Fourth year, but well.

"Yes, Chat, the Marauders," Ladybug repeats patiently. "And you know how one of them was a werewolf?"

"Ah, Werewolf McWerewolf," Adrien grins. He has the feeling Marinette would be giving him a _look_ if she weren't currently nesting in his neck. "What? Lupin means werewolf, and I'm sure you know Remus' story! It's really what it is! And you know what else? His patronus-"

"Do you want to hear the story or not?"

" _Suuure_ ," he conceds. He'll tell her about Remus' patronus and all the other hilarious stuff later, anyway. "Go on."

"So I was a child, and I had read about the Marauders becoming animagi to help Remus, right?" Adrien can see where this is going, but he holds in the laughter and waits, Marinette's speech becoming more stilted as she goes on and further into her embarrassment. "And then I received my Hogwarts letter, and I met Alya... Uh, and I learned what she was, so I thought- I thought I could maybe help? Like the Marauders had done with Remus and- uhhh, and everything."

"But then..." Adrien prompts, voice trembling with repressed laughter.

"She told me she didn't need help when she was on her potion," Marinette groans. " _And_ , and, then I go and find out that I'm a goddamned _ladybug_ , and isn't that just the icing on the cake?" Adrien is shaking, now, muffling his laughter with the heel of his free hand while the other clenches and unclenches on Marinette's hip compulsively. "A _ladybug_. Well, thank goodness she didn't need my help! Can you imagine? The best I could do would be settle on her nose and annoy her with nasty-smelling pheromones!" She stops talking for a second, and then, incredulously, "Are those _tears_ in your face, Chat?"

She wriggles free of his hold and Chat doesn't even have it in him to regret it. He bends over his stomach and covers his face with his hands, still shaking. He _is_ crying, he realizes, and the face Marinette is making when he peeks between his fingers only sets him off harder.

"Oh, god," he wheezes, because it seems like an appropiate moment to borrow Nino's muggle expressions. "Oh, _god_."

Ladybug folds her arms over her chest and stares him down, deadpan, for at least five minutes. Then, she huffs and pats his shoulder.

"Get back to the tower before a prefect catches you, kitty." She pauses, frowning. "Well, _another_ prefect, I mean. Though I do feel like giving you detention." She stares, shakes her head at his fruitless attempts to stop laughing, and turns on her heels. "I'm leaving."

She does, in fact, leave. Adrien, on his part, stays in the dungeons for a good while, trying to catch his breath.

 

* * *

 

Marinette gives him the stink eye next morning, but it's _so_ worth it.

Besides, he found hand-made mittens and a gigantic bag of macarons when he got back to the Gryffindor tower. They were right on his pillow, too, so Adrien suspects that Marinette somehow walked into his dorms and found exactly which was his bed. It's not outside the realm of possiblity that Nino met her outside and put the gifts on his bed, but then again, Nino is very particular about his sleep and wouldn't have been so kind after being waken, not even for Adrien's sake, plus the Fat Lady really isn't very agreeable in the same circunstances either.

Adrien can only guess that it wasn't Marinette that left the gifts, but _Ladybug_. She could have easily convinced someone to let her inside or even give her the password, and no one would've said a word if she decided that she wanted to spend her time in the Gryffindor tower at two in the morning. People love Chat Noir, indeed, but Ladybug is even more popular for some reason (perhaps because of how cute she is, or how amazing, or-). Everyone loves Ladybug, and he does mean _everyone_. Even _Chloé_ , who is widely known for only loving herself and maybe tolerating Adrien occasionally if she feels like it.

"You do know we're having a party this weekend, right?" Nino says as he munches on toast. "At Hogsmeade. We haven't forgotten you, dude."

"What?" Adrien replies, startling right out of his Marinette-induced daydreaming.

But Nino only shakes his head.

"Dude, you're crushing _so_ hard. It's embarrassing to watch, really."

"You forget that I saw you dropping all your books on Alya's feet after she nodded hello at you," Adrien deadpans. "And then you stuttered for a full minute before she took pity on you and picked them up for you. _And_ I thought you'd been struck dead when she patted your arm-"

"Okay, okay!" Nino yells, blushing to his ears. "But my embarrassing crush doesn't cancel out _your_ embarrassing crush. And at least you could ask Marinette out, if you weren't suck a chickenshit."

"A _what_?" Adrien exclaims, horrified.

"Muggle expression," Nino says, waving it away. Merlin, having muggleborns as best friends can be such a wild ride. "My point is, Alya is _scary_. At least Marinette is a sweetheart."

"You mean to say Marinette _isn't_ scary," Adrien repeats, eyebrows rising almost up to his hairline.

There's a brief moment of silence. Some nearby Gryffindors that must have been listening in to the conversation, or at least caught the last part of it (which is what Adrien hopes), stare at Nino in disbelief.

"Yeah, nevermind," Nino mumbles, looking suitably chastened, and peace returns to the table. Or whatever passes for peace at the Gryffindor table, anyway. "That's what we get for falling for Slytherins."

"If we're going to play on house stereotypes here," Adrien says, "I'd like to know where our Gryffindor bravery is."

Nino stares wistfully at the Slytherin table, where Alya is chatting animatedly with Marinette. Adrien's eyes are immediately drawn there as well.

"Yeah, I'd like to know too, dude."

 

* * *

 

Alya and Marinette are not impressed by the Gryffindor common room, which is just _insulting_.

"It's so... _red_ ," Alya mutters, somehow making it sound like it's something to be ashamed of.

Which it isn't, just... _isn't_. Ladybug is red. Marinette looks lovely in red. Red is a wonderful color and Adrien will not stand and see it insulted.

"Well, to be fair, our common room is pretty green too," Marinette points out, but even she's frowning a little. "But it's... different, I guess."

Nino and he share a disbelieving gaze before turning back to the girls.

"Really?" Nino says, pouting. " _Really_?"

"I like green," Marinette shrugs, and then looks briefly at Adrien, the softest of the smiles in her face. It takes Adrien a moment to figure out that his eyes are, in fact, green, which probably means Marinette likes his _eyes_. He can't just _not_ react to such a revelation!

"Uhhh-" is what comes out. And then, from some deep and dark part of his brain, comes a line, "I wish I was wearing my new mittens right now, because you- uhh, you're too hot to handle."

The silence is deafening.

Alya, Nino, and Marinette are all staring at him, faces blank. Adrien couldn't swear there's anyone else in the common room, but he's absolutely certain that, if there is, they're staring at him too. In fact, Merlin himself must be staring at him from wherever he is and tutting, or possibly dying a second time from second-hand embarrassment. The first-hand one certainly is powerful enough.

Adrien has never in his life felt such an absolute mortification. Maybe if he was wearing Chat's suit, and had delivered the line with Chat's confidence, maybe then it would've been close to alright, because Marinette always brushes Chat's flirting off anyway. But he's only _Adrien_ , and he's in the middle of his common room and all his friends are present to witness this utter fail, and he doesn't doubt for a single second that if there's a magical equivalent of the Guinness World Records, his name has just written itself right under the Most Embarrassing Moment Ever entry.

Marinette opens her mouth as if to speak, but no sound comes out. What does come is the brightest blush Adrien has ever seen, appearing in her cheeks and spreading down her neck and even up to her ears. Adrien would bet all his father's galleons that he's matching her.

Meanwhile, Alya's hands have flown up to cover her mouth, which has just dropped open, and Adrien always thought it was only an expression but it's apparent that he was wrong. Nino closes his eyes tightly, either praying for patience or trying to perfom a miracle and wandlessly _Apparate_ somewhere else while in Hogwarts grounds.

" _Duuuuude_ ," he whispers.

Once, when Adrien was a child, he heard the muggle expression _Tierra, trágame_ from his Spanish cook, which roughly translated to _I wish the earth would swallow me up_. He'd thought it funny and got into the habit of saying it at least four times a day, but his father quickly ended that by explaining he was so young that he might accidentally perfom wandless magic and the earth would _actually_ swallow him down.

Adrien used to have nightmares about it, but he's certainly starting to see the appeal now.

"Anyway," Alya says, pointedly clearing her throat. "Very nice common room and everything, guys. C'mon, Mari, I want to see if there really are paintings of professor D'Argencourt's ancestors here. Don't worry, I'm sure the moustaches will give them away."

As the girls turn around and start snooping around the room, Nino wraps an arm around his shoulders in silent condolences.

Kim walks into the common room, takes a look at their faces, and blinks.

"Who died?"

"Adrien's dignity," Nino says, solemnly. "And possibly his will to live."

" _Whyyy_?" Adrien groans, and presses his forehead against Nino's shoulder. So _what_ if he's hiding.

" _Definitely_ his will to live," Nino corrects, gazing pitingly at Adrien.

Kim shrugs and gets out of their way and into the dorms. Adrien doesn't blame him at all; he most definitely would escape too, if he could.

"Can we please just ignore that ever happened?" he asks wearily. " _Please_."

"Oh, hey, guys, there actually are some dudes with moustaches in the walls!" Alya exclaims, suddenly in front of them again. She's dragging a still-very-red Marinette with her, but she releases her hand to grip Adrien's arm instead. "Here, Adrien, I'll show you," she says, and drags him away without bothering to wait for his response, which might have been that he already knows about the moustache guys, thank you very much, since he actually _lives_ here.

She stops them at a nearby corner, though, which is weird because Adrien knows for a fact that the moustache guys are in the opposite direction, right beside the fireplace. It's only when she starts making a sound so high he's sure dolphins are standing at attention miles away that he understands she didn't mean to show him the walls of his own common room at all.

"Uh, Alya?" he calls, poking her. "Are you breathing? Can you please let go of my arm?"

Because Merlin, that woman has _muscles_. Not as many as Marinette, of course, who could probably kill a wizard with her own two hands, but certainly enough to leave bruises.

"That was _awesome_ ," Alya finally says, and does release her arm, thank Merlin. "Well, not _awesome_ , it was pretty terrible, actually, but at least it was _something_! Congratulations, Adrien!" And while Adrien doesn't understand Alya's need to congratulate him on one of the biggest mess-ups of his life, he nods, because arguing with Alya is generally a bad idea. "Now, the next step is actually _asking her out_. Preferably without awful pick-up lines involved, if only for the peanut gallery's sake."

And once again, Adrien doesn't understand why Alya is talking about _peanuts_ , of all the things, but he doesn't like what he does understand of what she's saying.

"Why don't _you_ ask Nino out?" he says, because sometimes he gets tired of being _nice_ , but Alya only blinks.

"Well, because _he_ has to be the one to ask _me_ out," she replies, like it's a known fact. "Gryffindor bravery and all that."

"We don't have that here," Adrien mutters.

"You'd better get some soon, then," Alya replies, giving him a knowing look that makes Adrien very, very afraid. "Before the weekend, even."

"What?" Adrien startles. "Alya, what-"

But Alya is already ignoring him and walking back to Nino and Marinette, who are absorbed in what seems to be a very interesting conversation, hopefully one that doesn't involve making fun of him. He does that pretty well by himself, if he may say so.

 

* * *

 

There's a croissant on his bed.

Which, fair enough, he suposes there's no reason for a croissant _not_ to be on his bed, but there's also no reason for it to _be_ there. For starters, his birthday was yesterday, so it's a bit too late for mysterious gifts. Adrien ponders it for a moment and then decides that it's probably from Marinette, a small kindness to distract him from this afternoon's disaster.

But she usually remembers not to leave unwatched and uncovered food just laying there while Plagg's around. Adrien nearly has to fight him for the croissant, but upon discovering that it doesn't in fact have cheese, but honey, Plagg makes a disgusted noise and curls up on his pillow.

It's only after Adrien has eaten it and found out that it does taste like honey, but not _entirely_ right, that he considers he maybe shouldn't have eaten some mysterious food, that might or might have not been from Marinette, just like that. But by then, his skin is already rippling and everything burns and he's probably, more than probably, going to vomit on the dorms floor.

And then, it stops.

And colors are all _wrong_. Too intense, too... _weird_. Adrien is pretty sure he's seeing ultraviolet, and he can already feel a killer headache building.

"For Merlin's sake," he mutters.

He can't hear as well as he's used to, either, but he _does_ smell Nino's in the common room with a lot more intensity than usual. But he's not really looking for Nino. He needs _Marinette_. Marinette will fix everything, after she finishes yelling at him for being so careless, and hopefully the professors won't have to get involved, because if they do, they might call his father, and then it'd be all too easy for him to find out Adrien is an animagus, which Adrien _really_ wants to avoid. Technically, the only ones who know for now are Mari, the wizards that keep the Animagi Registry, and Nathalie, and her only because she was the one to teach him, and Adrien would like to keep it this way for the unforesable future, or at least until he gets his full form.

"Hey, dude, where you going?" Nino asks distractedly when Adrien walks into the common room.

"Why are there snapdragons in the Great Hall?" Adrien replies, blinking.

"Miss Bustier wanted to transfigure them into actual dragon flowers that snap at students for Halloween," Nino explains, and then looks up from his wizard's chess game with Juleka (because he's yet to learn that playing against Ravenclaws is never a good idea). "How did you even see them? Juleka has just told _me_."

Adrien glances at Juleka, who waves timidly. He waves back and tries to smile, but it's hard to, mainly because he _didn't_ see the snapdragons, he's _smelling_ them.

"Where's Marinette?" he says, because it's the only thing that matters now. That matters always, even.

"Prefect meeting," Juleka replies, surprisingly enough, and avoids their eyes. "Max is there too."

"Wait, Max is a _prefect_?" Nino exclaims, as if they all hadn't been expecting it since they met the guy. "Dude, we have to-"

"Later!" Adrien yells, running out of the room. "Thanks, Juleka!"

He doesn't actually know where prefect meetings are held during the year, but his bet's on Headmaster Damocles' office, so that's where he heads to. While passing through the Great Hall, though, he finds himself taking one of the snapdragons from their vases. It smells _amazingly_ well, and that's not a good sign, because the whole ultraviolet vision and attraction to flowers thing links very suspiciously with the slightly off flavor of the croissant's honey right before something went wrong.

He can't hear anyone through the charmed door of the Headmaster's office, but he immediately knows for sure that Marinette is in there. She smells different to him than she did just a few hours ago, but it's still more than recognizable. He'd know her anywhere.

Fortunately, he doesn't have to wait for long.

"Mari!" he says, the very instant the door starts opening.

Rose, because she's very clearly not Marinette, startles, but Adrien side-steps her before she can say anything and manages to find Marinette, who is talking animatedly with Max. She doesn't seem all that happy to have the conversation interrupted, either, if her scowl is anything to go by, but then her eyes fall to Adrien's hands and so do Max's and then they're both back to staring at him, Marinette rapidly blushing and Max pointedly raising a brow.

Adrien looks down and there it is, the snapdragon. He realizes what they must be thinking, and that it'd be the perfect moment to actually _do it_ , but it doesn't feel right somehow. Besides, Adrien is _terrified_ , and for more than one reason.

"Uhhh- I thought you might want a snack?" he tries, smiling awkwardly at Marinette.

Her eyes immediately narrow. Max doesn't even bother asking what the joke is about, simply turns around and walks away.

" _Really_?" Marinette sighs. "Seriously, Adrien, you need to stop." She scowls. "That's not even one of my favorites, by the way."

Adrien shrugs and gently tangles the stem on one of her piggytails.

"Well, let it do something useful then," he mutters.

Marinette is looking at him like- well, he can't read her expression at all, but he thinks it's a good one. She smiles, then, small and soft, and takes his arm. He loves her. He _loves_ her, he knows now if there was ever any doubt, and he needs to tell her, _soon_ , because he can't live like this, constantly second-guessing everything and looking for hidden meanings where there might be none.

"Weren't you in a hurry?" she asks, squeezing his arm. "That was weirdly rude of you, interrupting Max like that."

"I know," Adrien winces. "I'll apologize later. But Mari, I need your help." He pulls her towards a corridor that he knows must be empty at this time of the day, whispering as they walk, "Did you leave me a croissant today? In my bed?"

"No?"

"Well, there was one. And I ate it."

Marinette clutches his arm and stills him in his place, turning to face him with wide eyes.

"Are you _serious_ , Adrien? How-? _Why_?" She covers her face with one hand and whines. "You don't even know where it came from! Are you sure you're the pureblood here? Aren't you supposed to know better?"

"Yeah, well," Adrien grimaces, self-consciously scratching his neck. "I clearly didn't think it through. But Mari- it had some sort of... _honey_ , and now I can smell the snapdragons of the Great Hall from the dorms, and I think I'm seeing ultraviolet, and-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Marinette mumbles, dragging him into the corridor. She glances around them and scowls, folding her arms over her chest. "Transform."

"What?"

" _Transform_ , Adrien," she repeats, exasperated. "Like this," she says, like he's somehow forgotten, and a second later there's Ladybug in her place, still scowling at him.

Adrien closes his eyes and prays to Merlin that he will be Chat Noir when he opens them again. He hears Marinette's sharp intake of breath and stares down at himself. There's no black leather, no claws, no cat ears that he can feel. At least he's black. Sort of. But he's also very, _very_ yellow. Funnily enough, what makes him panic is that he can't find his baton, but of course he can't, his wand has transformed into a _trompo_ instead.

"Okay," he mumbles. "Okay. This is fine." He meets Ladybug's startled eyes. "No. No, Mari, this is _not_ fine. What-"

"I saw Chloé in the Potions classroom a few days ago," Ladybug says, biting her lip. "Sabrina had stolen some ingredients for her and was hovering over Chloé all the time, but she wouldn't let her help. She said it had to be made by her hand alone, which- you know that's not how Chloé works."

"My lady?" Adrien says weakly.

"It looked a lot like honey," Ladybug blurts out. "The potion. It looked like honey. And... you never did meet her to get your birthday gift, did you?"

"Of course not!" Adrien replies, scowling. "Do you think- could have she sneaked into the dorms and left it for me to find?"

"Well, Sabrina _is_ a Ravenclaw." Ladybug looks apologetic. "And it's really not that hard to get your passwords. I would know."

Ah, right. He'd meant to ask about that, but...

"Why would Chloé want to change my animagus form? She doesn't even _know_ I have one." Adrien watches Ladybug deflate even further, and then straighten back with rightful fury in her eyes. "Oh, Merlin. It was some sort of love potion or something, wasn't it?"

"Probably," Ladybug hisses. "They share some ingredients with transfiguration potions, like Polyjuice. And my uncle wrote an entire tesis on how Polyjuice can change a wizard's animagus form temporarily. Knowing Chloé, she probably messed it up somehow. We have to talk with her, Chat! She could've killed you!" She hesitates, then, and Adrien can see the slightest shadow of a smile cross her face. "It's so weird to call you that when you're... like that."

"You mean a bee?" Adrien says, resigned. "I'm a bee, aren't I?"

"Hello, fellow bug," she grins, before becoming serious again. "C'mon, Chloé must be in the Slytherin common room."

"We can't talk to her like this!" Adrien whispers. "She'll-"

"Ladybug!" a marvelled voice says from behind them.

They both turn around slowly. Somehow, despite their superhuman hearing, someone who seems to be a First year has managed to sneak up on them, and is currently staring with stars in her eyes.

"Hey," Adrien grins, bending down on a flamboyant bow. "How you doing, miss?"

"Great now," the girl replies, beaming. "Oh my gosh, I thought it was a joke! Or like, an urban legend!"

Adrien shrugs helplessly at Ladybug, who chuckles. He's starting to really regret he hadn't fought harder with his father about taking Muggle Studies.

"Nope," Ladybug says. "Not an urban legend. Hi."

"Hi!" the girl waves. "I'm so glad to meet you, I'm a super fan of yours! Well, everyone is, really-" She stops, blinking. "Where's Chat Noir?" she asks, genuinely disappointed, and Adrien can't help but preen a little. "And who are you?" she adds, pointing at him.

"Chat's- ahh, on secret business," Ladybug replies, after exchanging a meaningful gaze with Adrien. "And this is- an old friend of ours." Adrien tries very hard not to snort. "But you can't tell anyone you've met him, okay?" she whispers. "He's leaving soon anyway, and he really shouldn't be here at all. So it will be our secret."

And Adrien might be innocent, but he's not completely hopeless. His faith in humanity is not what it used to be; there are some unavoidable facts in life, for example, that if a First year gets her hands on some information that could make her incredibly popular with no effort, it's not easy to make her give it up, if she does at all. But clearly Adrien has forgotten to take Marinette The-Force-of-Nature into account, and because _everyone_ loves Ladybug, the girl only grins wider and nods.

"Of course! I won't tell anyone, I promise!" She shyly stretches out a fist towards Ladybug, her pinkie sticking out, and Adrien watches, bewildered, as Ladybug tangles her pinkie with her own for a second. "It's our secret."

They say their goodbyes and leave in the direction of the Astronomy tower, which is apparently the only safe place left. And not for long, because older students will probably start having romantic _rendez-vous_ there soon again; it's another of those unavoidable facts in life, and one Adrien doubts even Marinette can do much about. Although she _is_ a prefect...

"Was that like an Unbreakable Vow?" he hisses when they reach the Astronomy corridor. "Did you just make an Unbreakable Vow with a _child_?"

Ladybug's expression is so ridiculously incredulous that Adrien would probably laugh, if he didn't suddenly feel so ashamed.

"It was a pinky promise," she says, slowly. Adrien has the feeling he's not getting it, and Marinette must notice, too, because she only sighs. "No, kitty, it's not an Unbreakable. Not even close. But I did take pinky promises pretty seriously when I was eleven," she adds, shrugging. "We'll be fine."

"We won't be fine," Adrien reminds her, grinding his teeth. "I'm a _bee_."

"I'll talk to Chloé," Marinette promises, and ruffles his hair. It's not quite as pleasant as when he's Chat Noir, but it's still pretty awesome. "Don't worry, I'll be careful. Subtle."

Adrien raises a skeptic eyebrow. Marinette, despite her many virtues _and_ being a Slytherin, is not that great at subtlety most of the time. But still, it's _Marinette_. _Ladybug_. There's really only one answer to that.

"I trust you."

 

* * *

 

The breakfast table has croissants again, but Adrien carefully steers them away.

He's almost certain no one has ever been cursed into being a bee by a piece of toast, so that's what he gets. And, despite everything, he can't help but spread honey all over it. It makes Nino stare at him funny, because Adrien is not big on honey on a normal day, which is hugely remarkable on itself, considering he's big on pretty much everything sweet.

Then there's an explotion of flavor in his mouth (not literally, though, unlike what happens with some brands of magical cereal). Honey is _good_ , or so is every part of him telling him.

"Do bees even have taste buds?" he asks Nino, startled.

"I don't know, dude," Nino replies, patting his back. He probably thinks Adrien is coming down with something. "Ask Marinette. She's the resident expert on bugs."

Well, he's not wrong. And Adrien does have to talk with her, immediately. For now, the only good thing of being a bee animagus has been the whole honey thing, and it definitely doesn't make up for the general discomfort that is not being a cat. He _likes_ being a cat, despite all. So he takes a piece of cheese from the table and holds it under the table, waiting, until he feels tiny teeth brushing his fingers.

"Take this, Plagg," Adrien whispers, and writes _Lunch, my common room_ on a piece of parchment.

Plagg takes it from him with considerably less enthusiasm than he'd taken the cheese with, but Adrien trusts him to carry it to Marinette either way. No Kneazle blood, his _butt_.

Right after seeing Marinette opening the note, he realizes that he's going to see her in Care of Magical Creatures in a few minutes anyway. Well, at least he won't have to try and get rid of Nino for long enough to talk to her.

He almost wishes he had to, though, when he arrives with Nino at the clearing and Ms. Mendeleiev informs them that today's creature is the Bowtruckle. Last year they saw Gryffins, for Merlin, and now here they are with _Bowtruckles_. Very nice guys and everything, but not terribly interesting; Adrien has seen dozens of them in his mother's garden.

Nino and he immediately take one of Marinette's arm each, effectively claiming her as their partner. Ms. Mendeleiev doesn't even blink, more than used to it; it's not only that Marinette is a delight to have in any team _and_ one of their best friends, but she's also scarily good at Care of Magical Creatures. She theorizes that it's because of her animagus form, since most species don't consider ladybugs a threat.

Plus, there's the whole _calming pheromones_ thing. Adrien wishes he had such an advantage, but alas, Chat's don't work like that at all.

"How's Alya?" Nino asks cheerily.

"Better than us, for sure," Marinette grumbles. "She has a free period."

"Aww, don't be like that, Mari," Nino beams. "This class is awesome!"

"We're stuck looking for Bowtruckles for an _hour_ ," Adrien reminds him. "And then we'll have to- what, examine them? Write a ten feet paper on them?"

"You two are grumpypants, my dudes." Nino shakes his head. "Made for each other, I swear. So I'll be _over there_ , having an amazing time, and you can stay here and complain, 'right? See ya."

And then he actually walks away, whistling.

"Well," Marinette starts, trying to hide a smile. That's, on one hand, comforting, because she wouldn't be smiling at all if the whole bee situation was too serious. But Adrien happens to know that particular smile heralds trouble. "I talked with Chloé. It was a bit like talking to a wall-" she interrupts herself and glares at Adrien, who has opened his mouth to speak. "A _non-magical_ wall. Anyway, it's exactly as we imagined," she says, somber. "Which means it'd be too hard to reverse it, since Chloé doesn't even know where it went wrong. In fact, she insisted that it couldn't have gone wrong at all because _she_ was the one who made it." She rolls her eyes. "The ingredients were cheap, though, so the effects will probably go away on their own. I've sent a letter to my uncle to ask what we can expect."

"I'm not liking all these _probably_ s at all," Adrien grumbles.

"You should've been more careful, then," Marinette reminds him, huffing, but she knocks her shoulder into his and smiles. "It'll be alright, kitty."

That manages to calm Adrien down some, because Marinette isn't wrong often.

Then again, there's always the exception that makes the rule.

 

* * *

 

Adrien has to knock on the door of the Slytherin dungeon for an _hour_ before anyone deigns to open it and see what's going on.

It happens to be Alya, thank Merlin, even if she glares at him like she wouldn't mind feeding him to the Giant Squid. Her hair is in disarray, and she's not wearing make-up, and Adrien is vaguely amused to see she's in ladybug pijamas.

"We're trying to _sleep_ here, loverboy," she hisses. "Go pound someone else's door."

"Alya, it's three in the afternoon," Adrien feels obligated to point out.

"Well, tell that to a bunch of Slytherins whose team won the last Quidditch match and have had to wake up in time for classes while dragging their hangover." Alya steps forward until their noses are almost touching. Her eyes are blazing. "Tell them that, Adrien."

Adrien remembers Marinette complaining about Alya's terrible moods whenever she's waken from her beauty slumber and very carefully doesn't say anything.

"Where's-"

"Marinette?" Alya interrupts. "In your common room, where else?"

"Why-" Adrien starts, but Alya closes the door in his face.

He stays there for a few seconds, stunned, but he doesn't dare to risk the Slytherins' ire by knocking again. He has the feeling he would earn himself a hex to the face, even if Alya would probably regret it later. Probably. Besides, what he's looking for is sympathy and help, so Marinette is the obvious choice.

And when he walks into his common room, it's blessedly empty. Weird, but convenient.

"Quidditch match, remember?" Marinette's voice says immediately.

"What's up with everyone being a Legilimens today?" Adrien huffs, localizing her languidly sprawled on one of the couches. She has an apple in one hand and a handful of nuts in the other, and she's taking alternate bites of them. "And how did you get in here?"

"You're just too predictable, kitty," Marinette snorts. " _And_ I know the password, of course." She glances at him for a moment, smiles. "They taste a bit like aphids."

"I'm- I'm sorry?" Adrien says, startled.

Marinette holds up her food and nods towards it.

"They taste a bit like aphids," she repeats. "Although aphids technically taste different depending on which plant they're feeding on. But they _are_ kind of nutty and apple-y. Don't ask how I know," she adds, scowling, but then sighs. "Oh, what does it matter. I guess it's just animagus knowledge. Because I _assure you_ I haven't munched on any aphids lately."

"Now, that's kind of _purrsonal_ , my lady," Adrien grins, delighted. "Finally opening up to me?"

"Oh, no," Marinette replies, giving him a sidelong glance. "I just don't think you can afford to make fun of me now, considering just how long you took to find even one Bowtruckle. And it was waving at you the whole time. Plus, you practically inhaled the chrysanthemums."

"Bees don't see green very well," Adrien grumbles, smile falling. "It's not my fault. And flowers smell great."

"Do they now?"

One of Nino's favorite pastimes is laughing at how clueless Adrien is, and Adrien can't really fault him because, well, he's not entirely wrong. But even Adrien is now starting to understand that he's not going to find much sympathy here. He hasn't seen Marinette this amused since she discovered Chloé's fear of rubber ducks, and while her eyes are shinning and her cheeks are slightly blushed and she's unfairly pretty, this is not what he came here to find.

"What happened to you?" he complains. "You used to be nice."

"No, I was _worried_ ," Marinette says. "Because you could possibly die or stay a bee animagus forever. And I definitely prefer cats over bees; they remind me too much of wasps," she winces, but recovers quickly, mirth returning to her expression. "But, you see, my uncle sent me a letter, and you're going to be just fine. Eventually. So I might as well take advantage of this and watch you squirm over the bug traits you dished before."

She's positively _evil_. Adrien remembers the first months of Fourth year, wishing they'd become friends because she was without doubt the kindest, most amazing person he'd ever met, and now his dream's come true, Adrien sort of regrets it. Not. But he suspects he probably should, so maybe he's a little masochistic.

"Mari, I _can't stop_ eating honey," he whines, and it doesn't sound nearly as bad as it is. Because it _is_ bad. And annoying. "I don't even _like_ honey."

"Well, it's getting colder," Marinette shrugs, gazing fondly at him as he drops to the floor and crawls over to her. Adrien is apparently more of a cat than he thought, cat animagus or not. "Bees eat their own honey for body heat when it's cold."

"Did you actually research this?" Adrien asks, incredulous.

"I wanted to know what I'd be laughing at," Marinette replies. She finishes the nuts, leaving her hand free to stroke Adrien's head. "The cold is also the reason you ended up losing all notions of personal space in Care of Magical Creatures. Bees huddle with the hive to keep warm, and to protect the queen." She grins. "And considering you almost tugged Nino's arm off to make him stand between me and the wind, I'd say _I'm_ the queen."

"Lady, princess, and now queen," Adrien says, wriggling his eyebrows, because the opening is too good to throw it away despite the blush he can feel spreading through his cheeks. "Perhaps one day you'll be something of mine."

"Your murderer, maybe," Marinette groans. "Especially if you keep throwing these terrible lines at me. I can only thank the heavens you haven't stooped as low as to use the boyfriend material one."

Adrien perks up in an instant, which only makes Marinette groan louder.

"Which is the boyfriend material line?" he asks avidly.

"You don't know?" Marinette's hand stills on his hair. "I can't believe you don't know. It must not be a thing in the Wizarding World. It makes sense, I mean- there's probably an actual shirt that detects boyfriend qualities somewhere."

"Tell me the line," Adrien begs, unashamed. He _is_ already kneeling; he might as well make use of it. " _Mari_."

" _No_ ," she says, immediately, and then digs up the only words that could possibly distract him right now. "That was a huge fight, uh? In the Gryffindor table. At lunch. Today." She's pretending there's the slightest possibility Adrien wouldn't know what she's talking about, which... he _wishes_. So Adrien falls into sullen silence. The ignoring strategy never works on Marinette, though. "I don't think there's been a bigger fight in Hogwars in _years_. Centuries, maybe."

"It wasn't my fault," Adrien finally replies, lying through his teeth.

"Of course not, kitty. But you know, I've read-"

"My lady, please, just help me find a potion to reverse this."

"A lesser-known fact about bees is-"

"I will never again say bug traits aren't the worst. Ever ever."

He looks up and finds Marinette beaming. He gives her his best pleading eyes, the ones that _always_ work, but she's apparently building an immunity because she just laughs under her breath and goes on, merciless.

"Bees have pheromones that stimulate an attack response on other bees when they're startled," she lets out, quickly, like she's expecting him to shush her. But Adrien _does_ realize when he's lost, so he sighs and lets her. "Which, honestly," she grins, fond. "It was just a Seventh year, not a _dog_ , kitty. You didn't have to jump so high. The poor thing probably only wanted you to hand him the roasted beef."

"Nino punched him in the face," Adrien whispers, hiding behind his hands. "Oh, Merlin, Nino _punched_ a Seventh year in the face."

Marinette tugs at his hands until she pulls them away from his face.

"Hey, Adrien. Adrien. Don't worry, okay?" she says gently. "Last I saw, he was going to the match with the guy. And the Seventh year was asking him for punching classes in case he couldn't use his wand in a fight someday. Plus, no one will stay in the Hospital Wing for long. A couple of days, at most; I asked around."

"I don't like being a bee," Adrien complains, and doesn't even care if he sounds like a petulant child.

"Just a couple of days more, kitty," Marinette promises. She _Vanishes_ the leftovers of her apple and stands up, stretching. "Come on, try to teach me how to play Wizard's chess again."

Adrien appreciates the gesture, so much his mood actually improves, a feat he'd considered impossible just a few minutes ago. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is good at many things, but Wizard's chess happens not to be one of them.

Adrien is dying to know whether she'll set the board on fire this time too.

 

* * *

 

It's a cloudy Friday morning.

Adrien puts a piece of toast on his plate, stretches out a hand towards the honey, and- stops. He _doesn't want_ honey. He's never wanted anything less in his life. In fact, the mere thought of honey makes him want to vomit and go hide under a rock forever. And he realizes that, actually, the reason everything looks so dull and weird isn't the clouds covering the sky, but that he cannot longer see ultraviolet. _And_ , and this is the most important part, he can't smell any flowers nearby, despite knowing Miss Bustier is wearing a snapdragon on her hair.

He wants to scream and sing and dance, but he _is_ in the Great Hall in the middle of breakfast, so he swallows everything down and calmly spreads butter on his toast.

When he's finished eating, and _only_ when he's finished eating, does he stand up, walk out of the Great Hall, and duck into an empty corridor to gloat. Then there might actually be some dancing involved, but no singing, because Adrien is still Gabriel Agreste's son, and he doesn't sing where anyone could hear him and probably fall dead from the impression.

And just to make sure, he shifts to his animagus form, lightning quick, and grins like he's never grinned before at the feeling of a tail, standing straight with only the faintest tremble of happiness at the tip. His cat ears turn towards the Great Hall, attuned to the sound of Marinette's voice. He knows exactly which way she's going to go —which is probably a little creepy, but she does have a well-established Friday routine—, so he turns around and runs to the correct corridor, boucing on the balls of his feet in excitement.

Marinette turns the corner the very moment Adrien is expecting her to. He can tell she's surprised to see him, though, because her eyes widen and she almost stops in her tracks. In response, Adrien beams and poses.

"Missed me?"

And Marinette opens her mouth to speak, probably to say _Congratulations!_ or _You're back!_ or, if he's very lucky, _Yes_ , but Adrien's joy won't be stopped, Adrien's joy won't be contained, so he shifts back into himself and steps forward and hugs her so hard that he lifts her from the floor —which is not that easy; she's way heavier than she looks—, and then- he kisses her. He _kisses_ her full on the mouth.

The funniest part, the _hilarious_ part, is that Adrien doesn't actually realize what he's done until he sets Marinette back on the floor and looks at face. Well, at the remarkable ocean of bright red that covers her face. But it's almost certain that her face is under there somewhere. _Almost_. Adrien wouldn't swear on it, but mostly because he's too busy trying to find his own face under the flames of mortification it seems to be hiding under.

"Uhhh-"

"I'm so sorry!" Adrien blurts out, even though he's not entirely sure he is. Not for the kiss, anyway. For the scene he's made, definitely. "That was so rude! I'm really sorry, Marinette."

"Uhhh, it's-" Marinette starts weakly, then turns to give his back to Adrien and lets out a tiny scream. Adrien takes a step back and seriously considers running away, if only because he can't tell if she's screaming in frustration or in anger. With Marinette, it's probably both. "Ugh, oh, god." She turns back to face him, even _redder_ , and now Adrien's starting to worry, that _can't_ be healthy. "I- I didn't mind?"

It's barely a whisper, and it sounds like Marinette wants him to confirm it for her, but it reassures Adrien somehow. Not that it helps his face, but well. One can't have everything.

"No, it's okay," he says, holding up his palms. "Really. It was really rude. You don't just- you don't just kiss people. Rude. Uh-"

"It's fine!" Marinette insists, sounding panicked now. "No, I- I meant, it's fine if you- uh, if you wanted to do it. Again, I mean."

They stare at each other for a long, long moment.

Adrien isn't thinking, not really, because if there's a characteristic that defines this kind of moments, it's that they usually wordless. Realization has to come pure, clear, and if anything, packed in a single sound of understanding. So Adrien isn't thinking, but there _is_ a sound, and that sound is-

" _Oh_."

Not his most inspired answer. But Marinette seems to understand, too, because she blinks rapidly and repeats it, soft.

"Oh."

"Can I-" Adrien starts, barely daring to hope.

" _Please_ ," Marinette interrupts, but she's already reaching out, crossing the distance between them in a single step and tilting her head up, only slightly, until their lips meet again.

Then there _are_ words in Adrien's mind, but none that make much sense in any known language, and Adrien _is_ thinking, but it's a load of embarrassing babble that will never get past his brain-mouth filter if he has any say in it. Marinette is very soft and smells very nice and Adrien is getting exactly what he's wanted for the longest time, which doesn't happen all that often, so to his credit it's already impressive enough that he doesn't burst into tears and gives the wrong impression, nevermind actually try to kiss well. Because he's _kissing_. He's kissing _Marinette_.

Until they're not kissing anymore, but Marinette is smiling at him and it's like nothing he's ever seen before, so it's almost as good.

"So... that's a yes to the miss me question?" Adrien asks.

It was meant to come out as cocky, but he honestly only sounds confused. At least it has the side-effect of lowering Marinette's blush to non-critical levels.

"Sure, kitty," Marinette beams. "Sure. Just don't let it go to your head, Merlin knows you-" She trails off. Adrien is suddenly terrified of the idea he's managed to mess it up already, somehow, because Marinette actually _pales_. "Uh, Adrien?"

"Mari?"

"Are we... uh, are we _dating_?"

Adrien has the creeping feeling that he's missing something.

"Yes?" he tries.

There's an entire world of _please_ behind that single word, and Marinette must notice, because she beams again.

"Yes," she repeats. " _Yes_ , we're dating. But Adrien-" And her face twists into an horrified expression. "We're also as good as _dead_."

"What?"

"We were supposed to start dating _tomorrow_ ," Marinette hisses.

"I wasn't aware there was a schedule," Adrien says, honest.

"No, I mean-" Marinette gazes at him, trying to explain whatever's going on with the helplessness in her eyes. "Alya was _planning it_."

And this, this is another one of those wordless moments. Less beautiful and more horrifying, really, but still life-changing.

" _Ohhh_."

Marinette nods, frantic.

"Adrien-"

"Let's just- let's just go play a round of Wizard's chess," Adrien suggests with a sigh. "Or try to lure the pieces to step on the board, anyway. It might take a while."

Marinette glares at him, but doesn't actually argue. She didn't, after all, set the board on fire last time. It was _worse_. Adrien is trying really, really hard not to think of it, because it was only funny at the beginning, before the screaming began.

"I'll meet you there," she says, grinning. "I'll bring croissants."

Oh, for Merlin.

Adrien _loves her_.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Man, this was super fun to write! I mean, I cannot believe _this_ was my first published HP AU, but... well. I do love this weird ML/HP universe, so I might even write more for it. Feel free to send me your headcanons and prompts!  
>  (Also, I totally deserve the award of Most Awful and Horribly Dragged-Out Embarrassing Moment. I hope you felt the second-hand embarrassment. I definitely did.)
> 
> Do comment to tell me the story of the last time you were betrayed by a croissant! #We'reAllAdrien2k17


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